So in an indirect way, yes.
While i am not going to discuss the viewpoints and stances taken within the argument which in one partie's mind was a "fight" opposed to an argument, is just one example of the miscommunication and interpretation.
I think there were too many assumptions made by both parties, that led to the dismay that happened. While one party was lacking substantiated proof, and connecting dots/ties on their own without knowing all the facts, the other party was making personal attacks on integrity and lack of intelligence. While both parties are blatantly idiots, the latter perhaps more, both imagined their assertions to be correct. Once again i believe this lies within the scope of the argument and the methods used by both parties. One party may be used to a systematic structured method of arguing points, which may not use reasoning as often as it should, perhaps similar to the legal system in this country as the probability of acquittal is directly related to the amount of money spent on your representation. Another party may be used to a much looser way of arguing which only involves logic and takes into account truths opposed to spoken words which in some cases can be complete contradictions. Both parties have similar goals, trying to convince the other party of their view and if possible to concede defeat. Here in lies a conflict within itself that has no bearing on the actual topic being discussed. When you mix in unknown factors, as stated in the introduction the situation can lead to disarray very fast.
And while this post has been made in general, i am sure you can tell i am one of the parties within a conflict of this nature.
I feel that this quote has significant bearance without my specific conflict. Anyone who does know me, knows my tendencies, and my technique which can resort to personal attacks and unneccessary provocation. I am able to admit this, however i do allow for logic and reason to govern my overall opinion on the topic. Frustration often leads to the less than appropriate arguments, within reason ofcourse. The problem stems from opinion and the lack of knowledge within the areas. I for one, do not tolerate an opinion based on a lack of knowledge. I.E. if i know about a subject material MORE than the other party in hand, i will make the other party aware of this fact and point out the holes in their logic due to their lack of knowledge. This can often be interpreted as a personal attack, which due to the nature of language in general can be true. HOWEVER, if you are the party with the lack of knowledge, you should acknowledge this fact and realize that you may have erred in your logic. I am often faced with this when arguing with many people, and would rather gain insight into my illogic than take their points/attacks personally.
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
- Carl Jung
To make a final point on this topic, the argument was quite atrocious as both parties had a serious lack of knowledge with various areas, leading to a shitstorm. After hearing people WITH knowledge, i believe both parties can see the errors in their logic along with a sound understanding of the opposing parties points.
However the escalation of the shitstorm has brought up serious levels of agression and animosity between both parties. When personal attacks are escalated to the point of direct attacks of character and intelligence, shit will inevitable go down. When a party blatantly says that the other is ignorant and stupid, nothing will help. Nor if a party says that the other party things the world revolves around them.
Since this is my blog and is completely biased i will be taking my stance at this point. There are a number of factors which affected this conflict:
- The seriousness of the topic at hand, my party didn't take this nearly as serious as the other party, never at any point thinking that it could possibly end a friendship.
- The amount of latent agression which was unheard for many years, and allowed this argument to be the medium of discussing it.
- skeleton's in the closet.
Inferiority complexes according to Alfred Adler:
"A secondary inferiority feeling relates to an adult's experience of being unable to reach an unconscious, fictional final goal of subjective security and success to compensate for the inferiority feelings."
The roots of the inferiority feelings may be deeply embedded from various sources, childhood, the overshadowing of a successful sibling, a sense of guilt for not achieving at the levels desired, etc. All of these lead to insecurites with an individual's psyche.
What i think can be a brilliant indicator of this type of feelings is the presumtious nature of thinking that one has a significant impact on another parties insecurities. I can see this being a real possibility in certain situations if both parties do the same thing and have been for a significant amount of time, such as being pre-med in college and then going on to medical school and doing residency and eventually as doctors, 15 years with someone being significantly better than you can definitely affect your attitude, depending on the type of relationship between the two parties. BUT if both parties are doing completly different things, there is no correlation for success jealousy complex to occur. It can, but is highly unlikely. And in the specific case in hand, has no bearance.
In conclusion, skeletons in the closet are bad, they should be addressed, and conflicts/arguments should not be the medium for these issues to be surfaced. Also parties should not have a false impression that they are experts in subject matter that they may have taken a class in once. After taking an intro class in portfolio management does not warrant someone giving advice on stock investments at the same level as a portfolio manager managing a successful hedgefund for 15 years. You just don't do it, unless ofcourse you really are what your worst fears are...
I for one do not want to lose a friend over such ridiculous matter, burning bridges is not my style, but if the other party feels that way, then there is no point in discussing this.
I wish the best of success to all in their endeavors and in life. Cheers.
